In my life I have experienced my share of difficulties, challenges, and painful relationships.

What I didn't know is that all of my experiences were informed by deep trauma, shame, and fear I was holding in my body.

You see, shame had already begun to set in at a very young age. I have a recording of my 2nd birthday. My dad came home from work, and the first thing my mom says is, “Barbara tell you daddy why you got a spanking.” And little me says, “Because I’m a bad girl.”

And so it begins.

Over the years, whether it was the yelling, spanking, or grounding, the shaming continued. As a teenager and young adult I was told I was worthless. More shame.

I became sexually active at 16, and that turned to promiscuity (another shame based word geared toward women). And then , I threw some more shame, unknowingly, into myself…because that’s what I was and what I deserved.

Because of the trauma and shame, my energy would go to people pleasing and making sure I had at least one man feeding my false sense of worth and love-ability. I learned (and believed) from a young age that to get anything I had to give them what they want.

These imprints and conditionings served to cut me off from my Bliss Body - or my Authentic True Self.

Somehow, I was very high functioning in all of this, and was seeking my own healing at a young age.

I have been studying the mind-body connection, spirituality, metaphysics, as well as human pattering since I was about 18. My college studies were based in Psychology and Sociology. As my spiritual path unfolded I knew becoming a traditional therapist was not for me.

After receiving my Bachelor's degree in Human Development from CSULB, I went on to work for 5 years for Orange County Mental Health as a counselor to homeless mentally ill adults. I consider this to be my "Ph.d" in human being-ness.

While working at the Homeless Center, I also began my healing work as a massage therapist and yoga instructor.

Later, I became a raw food chef, and began teaching and making food for people.

I was working with a lot of women, and my work evolved into more emotional and spiritual based healing. I was studying Tantra, Sexual Healing, Emotional Healing, and learning through my own relationships and life experience about my own patterns, imprints, shame and fear patterns. And while I have always known I was to be of service to others, I also knew I was pursuing my own healing path. I couldn’t take anyone where I had not travelled. There is a saying, “You teach what you most need to learn.” That could have not been more true for me.

I have been fascinated by the healing process and have continued to train in different modalities, for most of my adult life. I have deeply studied trauma and somatic healing for the last decade, and continue to do so.

For the last 25 years I have had a small word of mouth private practice. For the last 16 years, I have also been an independent contractor (healing practitioner) for a Premier Retreat Company in Sedona Arizona.

This amazing organization creates 1:1 customized healing & spiritual retreats as well as group retreats. Over the years I have literally worked with thousands of people from all over the world. I still love working with this company. I fills my heart to see people truly have transformations, regardless of where they are on their healing path.

With that said, I have also known for some time that I wanted to bring my deeper gifts out to more people. Honestly, I have been stuck. Stuck with some of the very things I am here to teach! I had to again, go deeper into myself. Feel the fear and the deep deep "hidden in plain sight" shame that had been stopping me from showing up fully. I didn’t really want to be seen, after all I was so good at hiding and playing invisible.

Shame makes us want to hide. And hide I did. The bigger problem? I was playing hide and seek from my own true self, and I became a master at that game. When I finally began to breathe love and life into my body, the shame and old fear patterns began to dissolve.

It wasn't painful or dramatic. In fact, the more I surrendered to breathing into the feeling in the body, the easier the healing occurred.

Healing happens when we approach it with curiosity, fascination, and a bit of humor.

This is what I am here to share with you.

May you be blessed and full of bliss,

Barbara